As I begin to write, I’m not sure how long this will be and I’m not exactly sure what will come out because there is just way too much on my mind.  As many of you know, there is a lot of uncertainty in my life and it’s not easiest season to be in.  However, the strange thing is I feel like I’m right where I need to be.  I’m uncomfortable, vulnerable, and emotional when it comes to these things.  I also feel peace most of the time but I’m sure that has a lot to do with many of your prayers for me.

I ask that you continue to lift me because I feel like any time I might be going in the right direction, a door shuts and I get frustrated or I begin to panic and have anxiety.  Don’t get me wrong though because I definitely know that the Lord is working and that it’s in a way that I cannot see.  I mean that is how you grow faith.  There is no faith in knowing what is going to happen exactly.  I have begun to wonder what allowed Jesus(even though he was the son of God) trust God that the only way to save his people was for him to die.  I mean that is some crazy stuff.  It doesn’t matter what kind of faith you have, when God asks you to give up your life it is going to be mind blowing.  But that is exactly what he is doing.  He asks you and I to give up our life on a daily basis.  Pastor Jonathan Martin said yesterday, “Every death that we die is always a step toward resurrection.”  

Oh how I long to be resurrected in every area of my life and how I long for others to be resurrected too. Giving up yourself to die so that God can bring the power of resurrection life is the best thing that somebody could ever do.  I want to give up my life.  I want nothing but Christ alone.  He is worth it all.

It is all yours Lord.  I give everything I have to you. Use me as you please.  Show me your ways. Show me your heart. Guide me Holy Spirit.  Amen.

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