Tag Archive: faith


not sure

As I begin to write, I’m not sure how long this will be and I’m not exactly sure what will come out because there is just way too much on my mind.  As many of you know, there is a lot of uncertainty in my life and it’s not easiest season to be in.  However, the strange thing is I feel like I’m right where I need to be.  I’m uncomfortable, vulnerable, and emotional when it comes to these things.  I also feel peace most of the time but I’m sure that has a lot to do with many of your prayers for me.

I ask that you continue to lift me because I feel like any time I might be going in the right direction, a door shuts and I get frustrated or I begin to panic and have anxiety.  Don’t get me wrong though because I definitely know that the Lord is working and that it’s in a way that I cannot see.  I mean that is how you grow faith.  There is no faith in knowing what is going to happen exactly.  I have begun to wonder what allowed Jesus(even though he was the son of God) trust God that the only way to save his people was for him to die.  I mean that is some crazy stuff.  It doesn’t matter what kind of faith you have, when God asks you to give up your life it is going to be mind blowing.  But that is exactly what he is doing.  He asks you and I to give up our life on a daily basis.  Pastor Jonathan Martin said yesterday, “Every death that we die is always a step toward resurrection.”  

Oh how I long to be resurrected in every area of my life and how I long for others to be resurrected too. Giving up yourself to die so that God can bring the power of resurrection life is the best thing that somebody could ever do.  I want to give up my life.  I want nothing but Christ alone.  He is worth it all.

It is all yours Lord.  I give everything I have to you. Use me as you please.  Show me your ways. Show me your heart. Guide me Holy Spirit.  Amen.

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I believe that your dreams can be good and God inspired and that he uses them for things.  However, if you rely on them too much then it’s not going to do you any good.  For example, in my last blog I mentioned that I wanted to go to Peru and do all this stuff and bring a team down there eventually.  I still believe that these are dreams and desires he has given me but I also think I was trusting in them too much and not trusting him to mold and shape these dreams.

God’s plans for your life are so much bigger than you can imagine or think and when you concentrate on one or two dreams he has given you then you end up missing something. Before I went to Peru, I thought the Lord was saying, give your dreams and desires that I have given you because I’m going to do something so much better if you just trust me and the plans I have for you.  I wasn’t completely comfortable in giving them up right away but ultimately decided that he knows best and most likely he’s going to use my obedience.

The second thing I felt like I was being told was be faithful in the small things and you will be rewarded with much.  Don’t wait and do something that you feel like God called you to do but do what is in front of you first.  If you are obedient in serving and doing the little things, he will be able to trust you with the bigger things.  It seems like a simple biblical concept but I think that its truly a great thing to put into practice.

Look, I know that God has a humongous plan for my life and he may or may not include the dreams and desires that I’ve had so far.  However, I also know that if I trust in him, he’s going to end up blessing me and trusting me with much and it will always blow my mind that he loves me and wants to include me in his work.  I want to be that guy!  I want to be like Jesus.  I want to be the guy that goes when somebody needs to be sent but I also want to be that guy that stays and cleans the toilet if that’s what needs to be done.