Tag Archive: solitude

My idea wasn’t to come to Peru by myself to hangout with friends and relax.  My plan included bringing a team of people and reaching out to the poor areas of town and possibly even the jungle.  I wanted to do so much in the short two weeks that I was saving my time for.  As God often does, he changed my plans.

I’ve had such a strong desire to return to Peru since my February 2012 trip along with my friend and roommate Paulo.  I wanted to go do something for God and for the people of Peru.  I was going to be the leader of a missions trip that was going to be different.  It was going to be one of those short term trips that actually does good for the local community.  When I began to see that things weren’t going to work out after trying to plan and meet with people, I began to become very frustrated.  I was upset with myself, other people, and even God for not allowing me to do work for him.  I then began to go with him to the wilderness and found out that he wanted me to himself and that he had so many plans and gifts for me.  He wanted me to be ready for things ahead and not to be frustrated by my lack of works.

After that, I felt a little better but then got the idea to take the trip by myself anyway because I had been saving up the vacation time for a trip this year anyway.  I finally worked it out with my missionary friends and looked forward to going and helping them out.  Again, I had a plan to teach in the ministry school, minister in shanty town, pray for the college, etc…

Then September and October came along which included allergic reactions, bed bugs, broken doors, broken water heater, cleaning my entire home, throwing away many things, and drying every piece of cloth in my entire home.  As you can imagine, this was extremely stressful and overwhelming(not to mention my finances taking a huge hit).  By the time everything was taken care of with the bugs and fixing the other stuff it was a few weeks before I was to leave and I was still worried, stressed, and breaking out in hives.  I was determined to still go and give it my best shot.  I sent a message to my missionary friend Shaun and told him that I had a rough couple weeks and he responded with him saying they would pray.

Fast Forward to my arrival and one of the first things Shaun says to me on the ride back to the house is based on what you told me , we have decided that you are going to be treated as a family guest meaning I could participate in things or not.  He recommended that I just rest and then see how I felt.  I wasn’t sure how to take it but knew that it was the right thing to do.

I began to rest the next couple days with every intention of getting up to go to the school and prayer one of the days but I never made it.  I slept the best I have ever slept in my entire life.  Approximately 10 hours every night.  It was insane!  I ended up going to church and praying a few times for people, going to children’s church once, and taking a prayer walk and that was pretty much the extent of my “service” while I was there. 

My Father (God) always has the best plans for me even when I think my plans are to honor him and are the best for me.  He thought it was a better idea for me to rest, have fun, and spend time in his presence for a restful two weeks.  He was right and I’m better for it. What’s new?  haha.


Solitude leading to Compassion

I think I’ve always had a decent amount of compassion for people.  Although some of that may have been taken away based on working in retail for years.  But all the same, I still generally care for my neighbor and would love for everyone to have joy, be blessed, and most of all know the creator of the universe.

I just returned from a retreat at Mepkin Abbey monastery and there are going to be a lot of things that I write about in the coming weeks but I want to begin with two quotes from Richard Foster and his book Celebration for Discipline.  The first quote is “Like Jesus, we must go away from people so that we can truly be present when we are with these people.”  The second being “The fruit of solitude is increased sensitivity and compassion for others.  There becomes a new freedom to be with people.  There is new attentiveness to their needs, new responsiveness to their hurts.”  Both of these quotes became very true to me after this retreat.  I have a huge desire to be present with my community and other people going forward.  I also feel a new sensitivity/ compassion towards people in general.  Everywhere I go now it seems like I’m praying for people who walk by with a limp or who look angry or sad.  However, my real desire to to pray “with” these people and listen to their stories regardless of how hard it may be to hear.  I’ve also noticed a desire to actually talk to others and getting them to talk more about themselves and not going away feeling like I talked about myself too much.  And last, I feel a renewed freedom to share with my community on a deeper level.  I feel like God is definitely doing a work here.

My problem has always been expressing or putting this compassion into action.  For the last few months, I’ve been screaming inside to do something/anything for God  I’ve used many different excuses such as “I can’t do this alone” or “I don’t know what to do” to “I don’t have enough faith to do that,” etc.  I’m needing to go ahead and just do this and jump in.  How? Well, I know some people who do street ministry or I could just randomly pray for someone.  I ask that you pray with me for the the right opportunity and that God will give me grace and I will be able to jump in and “Just do it.”

So I just wanted to thank the people that read my last blog from Germany.  I’m not sure how you found my small little blog but thanks for liking my last post.  This really is just a continuation of what I wrote in my last post.

Again, it’s time to pray!

God is calling each one of us to find our Narnia so that we can engage with him and have intimacy with him and know him.  If you have ever experienced the true presence of God then you know how sweet it is and that you never wanted to leave at that moment.  However, we look at prayer these days as un-sexy and not worth doing.  People, it is worth it.  He’s worth it.  He will never let you down and he is going to show up.  Even if he isn’t speaking, he’s walking with you and sitting there with you.  It’s not about requests.  It’s about how he is the Father and that he wants us to come to him as his children.  Let’s become kids again and know that he wants to bless us and he want’s to show us that he is the Father and he will show up and help us.